we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Drunk is not a location!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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