worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
