She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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