lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
