I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
