Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
