I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You can't special order awesome
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
