ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I love you. Go after that dick
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
