were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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