covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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