Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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