all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
