$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
