either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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