all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
