I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
