could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
