chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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