I want to stick my p in your. b.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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