I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
