a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
