maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
