Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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