I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
