so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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