Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
