Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My life is pants optional.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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