How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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