Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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