i just wanna soil my oats bro
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
