girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
