i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
