Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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