Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
