I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
