the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
