So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
