I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
