Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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