i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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