i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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