I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
