At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
