how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
