grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
