does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
