i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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