Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He felt like a one man threesome
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
