In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Is it because I queefed?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
