I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
