there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Randomize
