It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
