Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
