hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If I had your ass I would rule the world
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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