Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
