We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
