Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
