Too much gin, very little bucket
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
