when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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