Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
ugly people sure do ruin things
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it's great music for shaving your balls
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
True strength comes from lack of pants
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
